Not a word

So my friend is still smoking.  Birthday just under 2 months away and not a word not a syllable.  No doctors appointment nothing.  just as if all is good!??????

Update on my friends efforts

So my last post was on June 8 when I realized that though many efforts have been made my friend was not ready or committed to quitting smoking.

I am now updating this blog to let everyone know of the status.

I am extremely sad and disappointed as well as I am sure many others especially her youngest daughter to report that my friend has decided she needs a few more months of self destruction and inhaling these known harmful cancer sticks.  She needs them apparently.

Our goal was to reduce harm and reduce intake of nicotine in small steps until she reached a low level of smoking and then get a patch or other assistance for the final cessation.  The reasoning was that all other factors: habitual behavior, social factors, psychological factors and physical factors would be at a minimum by her own ability to manage her addiction..then without question all would have been in place to ensure the ability to quit altogether. 

I have been very busy and have waited about a month but wanted to be sure others can know and understand our demise.  I have worked very hard to try to figure all that could help her stay motivated but the cigarettes have won. 

I am not sure what I can do to help any longer, I do not have a positive feeling regarding the possibility of her quitting.  If she was not able to stay motivated or even reach small goals during all these efforts and support I believe it will only be harder after a few more months or who knows how long.

Maybe meds from the doc will make it easier as she now is claiming she needs...and that is what will have to happen first ?  I hope so very much ...

I am now faced with the decision of how to respond.  This is a heavy burden because I feel VERY strongly not to be with others who choose to harm themselves intentionally.  I do not like or want to be around peole who smoke and definitely not while they smoke.  It is sad and scary for me not to mention absolutely disgusting and humiliating.

I do not want to see it, smell, be near it or even know about it... I WILL not be with my friend while she is smoking as I made very clear back in February 2010 at least not with out a plan and efforts to achieve the goal.

I will hope that one day other people, activities, things in life and LIFE will one day mean more to her and she will stop.  Hopefully it will not be too late!

meeting tonight?

Helpers have frustration tolerance issues too.  Helpers in order to truly help should only work as hard as those who are quitting work to quit!

So though I have been meeting weekly with my friend who says she is trying to quit...i felt that I was working harder and being more conscientious then she was...evidenced by 3 + months of talking about the first goal to smoke no more than 10 cigs per day to no avail...not once could she make 7 days straight with only 7 cigs...with no good reasons, just a little sloppy, careless, lack of focus mostly on the weekends????

so...

i made the decision to withdraw my help for now and not meet again until this goal is reached!

2 hours or more

you must be sure to smoke only when you physiologically must smoke!!!!  Though this plan is to reduce to a set number of cigarettes a day..that does not mean you need to smoke that total number of cancer sticks...

if the goal is 10 but you spread them apart either by specific 2 hour intervals or by physiological need and only then smoke  8...then great!!!!

you should NOT be squeezing in an extra cig at 7 pm because you have not smoked them all ?????
who fooling who here? whats being accomplished????

if attempting to decrease intake of nicotine..the idea is to stretch the self destructive behavior as far apart as possible...

if you set specific time frames you WILL smoke less...you will feel your body experiencing withdrawal symptoms...these mildly unpleasant symptoms are a positive indication that your body is trying to help you adjust to a lower level of nicotine...work with your poor body as hard as it is working for you to be healthy!

keep increasing your time intervals and you WILL smoke less. however remember to only smoke when you physically NEED to smoke to minimize withdrawal symptoms...

your reduced levels of nicotine will decrease the withdrawal naturally and increase interval times before withdrawal symptoms occur....

great now do it!

Automatic pilot

Smoking and taking those so ever loved smoke breaks become habitual.  Yup...30 years of 20 cigs a day will become an automatic thing ...so what to do??
well if you really want to quit smoking...breaking this habit, just like any habit, will require making changes in behavior...changing what you do first.  you will also have to make changes in awareness..meaning that you must find ways to remain conscientious of your smoking cessation goals at all times throughout the day!
Some behavioral ideas could include:

• keeping cigarettes in a different place than you usually do so that retrieving them to go for a smoke break will require more thought and effort
• only smoking in places that are unfamiliar or at least not your usual places 
• not smoking when on the cell phone or in the car at all which are common problem areas of habit.
• find replacements for hand occupation, like fake cigs or chewing something...
• remove ash trays
• put up reminder signs

Cognitive efforts could include:

• positive thinking regarding this positive change you are trying to make
• reminding self hourly that you are committed to quitting and you do NOT want to smoke
• associating reminders with with regular hygiene...flossing, brushing teeth, washing hands...etc 
• tell yourself you are removing the discoloring and odor of the cancerous smoke from your teeth and fingers!
• remind yourself of the negative health risks hourly or at meals

The idea is to spend time figuring out what you can do to make smoking as inconvenience or as unpleasant as possible...you are trying to be more conscious how much you smoke and how often you are taking time to harm yourself.   Unpleasant habits will be broken easier than pleasurable habits...

do them all ! find more ways that work for you to stop this terrible habit!

I DON"T GET IT?

So I really don't get it sometimes.  As a person trying to help another to quit smoking, I do not get the loss of motivation sometimes.  I understand the cravings, the withdrawal, the effort needed, etc but I do NOT understand the sloppiness!
She is not sloppy with her hygiene..must be leaned, flossed and groomed at all times!

She is not sloppy with her hair...god forbid she go too long without a hair cut...
She is not sloppy with her clothing.
She is not sloppy in the way she cooks or cleans...all things in order...
She is not sloppy in her parenting...years of time money and energy to become the best...
She is not sloppy in how she keeps house.
She is not sloppy with her relationships with others.
She is not sloppy with keeping her car clean..in fact she is really concerned about that most of the time and yet her lungs ...no problem ...goals to quit smoking....ahhh to hell with it ...no real good reason just sometimes is sloppy and careless about it...just go ahead and smoke ..forget about the filth in the lungs or all the efforts around to help...so what.....just keep smoking when you feel like it!

Though she has said..i dont feel challenges enough??? what?
also that she just wants to stop and never smoke again..oh that would be easy???
But to make the effort consistently??? too much trouble???

Sorry..helpers and people who love smokers get frustrated too!

Breaking behavioral habits

breaking old behavioral habits can be very hard...especially when you have done them for 30 + years or so.  if you need tools then you must brainstorm and figure out what might help.  first figure out your road blocks...then consider options that might help.

my friend realized that weekends and having drinks (alcohol) are the direct cause of a more relaxed attitude and therefore a little slacking on her efforts...also the automatic pilot kicks in.  Meaning that on her deck relaxed after a long hard week around smoking friends and husband ...she tends to lose focus and treats herself with as much nicotine as she carelessly and unconsciously wants.????

So instead of cigs we decided to try having a fake cig...and cigars for now in her cig pack by friday at happy hour..so that it will be a reminder and an alternative to those death sticks available...

Also we decided to get something to hold in her hand like a stress stone to rub and keep her hands busy...

Also being at least a bit more conscientious about how much intake of alcohol will helpful...duh( for many reasons)
Psychological preparedness is critical as always...the psychological aspect will include specific self talk...
"I might be tipsy but i am NOT dumb!",
"I do not have to smoke when others do becuse I am choosing health and I can quit smoking",
"I will not lose sight of my goals",
"I can enjoy a drink but NOT a cig..eewww they are the enemy and disgusting"   etc etc...finding what wording works is important!

do it!

Negativity ..or opportunity?

When you get negative PLEASE remember what you have already accomplished!
Remember your positive self talk and all the other things in life you have learned to do or accomplished.  
Remember the big picture and the long term goals.  If you have smoked for 30 years or however long, please give yourself a break and recognize you might need a little time to accomplish this goal to break your habits and over come this addiction.
PATIENCE please... this is an opportunity to develop patience as a virtue yourself.

What is not working

Having bad days??? you need to figure out why? Is it who you are with, where you are, or your thoughts or lack of commitment?

Feeling like you go backward at times??? it's ok.  This is to be expected.  However, the idea is to give serious thought to why you have days when you do not count out your cigs, lose count throughout the day, smoke more when at work, smoke more when in your car, smoke more when you are around others who smoke, or seem to automatically (without the thought of your commitment to quit) go out to take a smoke break?

Is there some other problem you seem to be having?  Are you not staying focused each and every day ..all day? if not then we need to figure out how to keep you focused!

Bottom line...a slight set back is OK from time to time, but if you are having a pattern of screwups with your goals then you need to take a closer look at the problem.

Committed?  really?  what are you thinking when you make the decision to light up?
We need to figure out what you need to think in order to STOP the problematic behavior of screwing up your goal to quit and for now reduce the intake of nicotine!

THINK about it. 

Those darn witdrawal symptoms

Yes if you are reducing your intake, you WILL have discomfort or unpleasant irritating withdrawal symptoms...
How spoiled are we that we cannot withstand a little unpleasantness????
Come on..these symptoms are telling you about your addiction.  These symptoms are telling you that your body is working very hard to adjust to a lower level of nicotine among other adjustment to not having those lethal chemicals in your bloodstream...that is all!
Turn the thoughts you are having about how TERRIBLE those symptoms are and think about working with your poor body and help it adjust to this ordeal of quitting.  If you give in and smoke you are going backward...so please for your bodies sake cause it is getting really tired of so much abuse (and all the other reasons)...
toughen up and think positive about what is going on while you have urges, craving, anxiety, jitters, irritability, etc etc...come on! you CAN do this!

It is likely that someone you know has died from smoking or a related illness

Since it is  likely that someone you know has died from smoking or a related illness, use the thought of tat person or their dying and death as a mental reminder that you are committed to quit smoking.  Use the death as a reminder that you are choosing not to have the same destiny.  You can make their death have purpose and that can be to help you quit this nasty harmful addiction, during moments of urges and desire to inhale once again.
In our case it was aunt Joyce.  Aunt Joyce was my friend's father's sister. She was quite a character.  She was loved. 
Remember aunt Joyce and the suffering she endured at an age long before her natural time was up.  Remember others who have not quit and succumbed to the same! NOT YOU!

Physiological symptoms

In order to simplify of smoking cessation plan we have broken the aspects of concern onto three (3) categories.

Physiological, Cognitive, and Behavioral.

Though each of these areas can present challenges.  It seems physiological is the most difficult at least for my friend.

Cognitive aspects of quitting include but are not limited to positive thinking, responding to those asking about your efforts to quit with a positive response, reminding yourself of all the reasons for quitting (avoiding death and illness, etc.), learning all the newest research and info about smoking, reminding self of benefits for quitting, thinking about how nasty cigarettes are regarding smell, taste, chemicals,etc, reminding yourself that you are only smoking because you have not yet quit and physically still crave strongly, you are working on your plan,  you have improved by reducing your intake, you are addicted but quitting will not kill you, you can tolerate the unpleasant symptoms of quitting because it will be so worth it, etc

Behavioral are taking precautions of and during danger zones, like being around other smokers, drinking, when driving,etc..., and making behavioral changes to avoid additional smoking or lighting up at all, talking with those around you to explain your need for changes and ask for their support, ( see positive sandwiches blog regarding what and how to talk about smoking)...put notes by ash trays to remind you, take a short walk instead of a cig break, count out in the morning and only take ten ( or whatever number you're on) cigs with you for the day, etc...

Physiological - UGH...basically your body craves them. you need them and are a slave to them. Once you pass a certain amount of time the symptoms begin...irritability, jittery, anxiety, etc there are tons of symptoms that you can identify with yourself..but you know the feeling...

this is when it is crucial to utilize your cognitive and behavioral skills and push as long as you can to avoid the next cig...

once you have reduced # of cigs your body will adjust to that much nicotine and then your craving and urges will become farther apart in time and less intense...the cycle of undoing has begun....your body will work with you and begin to heal and not need these chemicals.  It does require planning, proactive planning, consistency, ongoing conscious effort, and it needs to be a priority every day.

Ultimately once you have reduced to a very low number per day, my friends goal is like four (4) cigs per day and have maintained that for at least two (2) weeks maybe longer...go to the docs if necessary and get the medical help like gum or a patch etc..( see another blog for all options)

THEN TOUCHE!

Put the cigs down and NEVER pick one up again!

Make an agreement /commitment regarding times to smoke

After discussing a few road blocks regarding the plan to reduce the number of cigarettes to smoke daily, we decided to try listing the times during the day that my friend can smoke a cigarette and still keep her within the agreed upon range for number of cigarettes per day.

Remember the idea with our plan is to reduce the intake of the nicotine since that is the most addictive chemical in cigarette smoke.

She started at 20 on average per day and is now smoking around 10 per day.  However, since meeting weekly and discussing this plan it turns out that this is not necessarily being done on a regular basis.  Hence the reason we are discussing it further.  Smoking cessation has not been a primary focus  throughout each day every day.

So each day in order to stay within the agreed upon range she can smoke cigarettes at the following approximate times:

1 nasty cigarette - Upon awakening with her coffee - Yuk!    6:30 - 7 a.m.

1 cancer stick -  While driving to work ( a very long drive)    8 a.m.

1 - dose of nicotine rolled up - mid morning break -  10:30 ish

1 - After lunch  - 1p.m.

1- Mid afternoon  - 2:30 p.m.

1- On the way home - 4:30 ish

1 - After dinner - 7 p.m.

1 - mid evening - 8:30 p.m.

1 before bed  - 10:00 p.m.

These are the goal times.  The goal is to smoke no more than 10 cigs per day.  However, we are setting reasonable and doable goals again in order to reduce the nicotine intake.  The goal is 8-10 cigs perday.

Please keep tuned in for all the other aspects we have discussed and are working on in order to figure out all the helpful behaviors, thinking, and  physical changes she must make so she can quit!

Each plan to quit for each person will have a few general goals ( i.e. - reduction or elimination of cigs) and conditions however everyone is unique and we are attempting to find out what works for my friend but along the way there will be ideas that might work for you as well.

good luck and stay positive...YOU CAN DO THIS!

Stress and Smoking cessation

So if you have a lot or even a little stress in your life when you are about to embark on the battle of this addiction to cigarettes, you might want to address other stressors in your life first or concurrently.

If you have stress (and most people do), it would be beneficial to learn how to manage your stress better.  Improving coping skills and stress management will always be advantageous in life, but especially during times when you are faced with additional challenges.

There are many reputable sites that will provide great information such as, National Institute of Health (NIH) http://www.nih.gov, Department of Health & Mental Hygiene  (DHMH) www.dhmh.state.md.us    

Consider the underlying stress, like children, finances, family issues, employment/career, health, or other responsibilities.  Be sure to put these issues in proper perspective.  If you need a plan for things that must be changed, put a plan in order.  If you must accept things as they are then take time to do so and figure out how to learn and move on.  If you feel overwhelmed or don't know where to start....if you need professional help... it is out there ...go get it!  It's a good thing!

The rewards of developing optimal skills for psychological wellness are immeasurable and WILL be integral in your efforts to quit smoking!  

Local Assistance ..more resources

Local health departments typically hold smoking cessation classes or groups.  There are many support groups also.  I will do more research and include these.
Howard County General Hospital - Wellness Center provides a free Smoke Free Lungs program.  You can attend one or all the classes. For more info go to:  www.hcgh.org
Smoke Free Lungs Meetings are on Thursday nights from 7-9 p.m. starting April 29, 2010 and run through November. 
Please remember support and education can help you live healthier and longer!

What works and what doesn't?

So it has been 50 days since my first blog and out initial efforts to quit smoking.  Not a lot has changed but a lot has happened.  Though my friend smokes a little less now, we still are not in full fledged quitting smoking mindset or mode.

I am not minimizing the efforts just facing reality.  The goal was to quit was to be on her younger daughtr's 16th birthday.. What a great gift that would be...????for everyone but especially for this phenomenal young woman who loves her mom so much and wants her to quit so badly because she is fearful her mother will die way before she is finished sharing life with her....

  Is this still possible?? Not sure??? Well I know it is from where I am sitting but I am not sure my friend is ready to pull this off?

Where is she stuck?  Why is she stuck?  where is the motivation lacking to quit? what essential supports or tools does she need?  Why is this not a priority?

We are scheduled to discuss a weekly meeting date tonight again.  Of all the things in our lives right now I cannot think of anything that is more important to me..I hope it is equally important to her!

Moments keep ticking...everyday we are closer to our death...wouldn't it seem right to want to make it last as long as we can?

one out of two deaths?

One out of every two deaths before age 65 in our society is due to smoking,” said James Mulshine, M.D., professor of internal medicine and associate provost for research at Rush University Medical Center. You can add up to 10 years to your life by quitting. This year, strive to break the addiction, and create smoke-free environments in your home and community.

stop smoking please

Stop Smoking Please!

Stop Smoking.  Every year in the U.S. over 392,000 people die from tobacco-caused disease, making it the leading cause of preventable death.

Another 50,000 people die from exposure to secondhand smoke. Tragically, each day thousands of kids still pick up a cigarette for the first time. The cycle of addiction, illness and death continues. What can be done to stop smoking?

The American Lung Association is working to strengthen laws and policies that protect everyone from secondhand smoke and prevent young people from starting. We are also committed to helping smokers quit.

why do your fingers trn yellow when you smoke?

It is the nicotine in cigarettes that stains the fingers and teeth yellow. Nicotine is absorbed through the skin and the mucosal lining of the mouth and nose. It is also absorbed when you inhale smoke into your lungs.

http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hl-vs/tobac-tabac/quit-cesser/fact-fait/index_e.html

Nightmare!

So I had this nightmare last night.  My friend and I were sitting and talking and she lit a cigarette.  She told me that she had been lying to me over the past few weeks and that she had not really been quitting smoking.  She said that she was not going to quit.  She said that she liked smoking and it would be too hard to quit so she didn't care about anything else. 
I started crying and I asked her why she lied. She said that smoking made her happy and feel good.  She shrugged her shoulders and said "so lets just leave it alone." I was quiet.  She said "sorry" as if it all meant very little and turned her head to look in another direction.
It was all very vivid and very real. Then I just looked at her and she began to cry. She looked in my eyes as tears rolled down her face. There were no words just absolute sadness and defeat.  She started getting smaller. The whites of her eyes turned yellowish gray as if she was 20...maybe 30 years years older.  We continued to look at one another as the smoke was coming out of her nose, mouth, ears, and eyes....her skin began to wrinkle and she struggled for breath yet sucked once again on the death stick.  As she blow out the smoke a few teeth fell into her lap...I tried to pick them up but I began to cry harder and could not find them.  I then tried to reached for her but she was wilting like and beautiful flower that had been poisoned.  She was too fragile to even touch.  As tears streamed down her face..she just looked at me and said "sorry".

More lovely photos !!!

Your parents did everything they could to keep you safe and free of harm your whole life and in adulthood you choose to do this to yourself.  If someone asked you if you want your lungs to look like this one day woudl you say ...sure!  make a choose for heavens sake!

How many more years do you want to live?

Why quit now?

People who stop smoking before age 50 cut their risk of dying in the next 15 years in half compared with those who keep smoking. IN HALF!

How old are you?   mmm....  

Lets see if you died within the next 15 years because you continue to smoke your daughters could and would be between the ages of 15 and 34 when they would lose their mother!

Ex-smokers enjoy a higher quality of life with fewer illnesses from cold and flu viruses, better self-reported health, and reduced rates of bronchitis and pneumonia. 

How do want to spend your time left living ? 

Benifits of smoking - Part II as spoken by a smoking cessation group!

The benefits of smoking cessation are truly unlimited. We all expect our health to improve, but that is just the beginning of this wonderful journey. The positive results of smoking cessation listed below were collected from About.com Smoking Cessation forum members. They quickly learned that the return on their efforts to quit smoking was well worth the work it took to achieve it -- and then some.

Settle in with a cup of tea and grab some inspiration from those who have made a success of smoking cessation.
Benefits of Smoking Cessation

* Every breath I take feels so clean and refreshing
* I'm not tired during the day...yet I sleep like a rock at night
* I have more stamina, endurance, and confidence
* More cash in my pocket
* My clothes don't stink
* I'm not ashamed of smoking anymore
* My anxiety level has gone way, way down
* I can breathe!
* I'm working out like a champ
* I am in control of ME
* No more coughing
* I'm eating better--I used to substitute cigarettes for food a lot
* I can smell again
* My complexion is much better
* My heart feels relaxed...like it can do more work with less effort now
* Less heartburn and indigestion
* More respect for myself
* No need to worry about attending events where I can't smoke
* My house smells good! My car smells good!
* No more fear of fire caused by smoking
* I spend money on my health now, like working out at a health club, instead of on cigs
* My sinus problems are gone!
* My allergies and asthma have improved
* I don't feel like a hypocrite
* I can sing again!
* No more time wasted smoking
* Whiter teeth
* Fresh breath
* Sharper thinking
* Pride in myself
* No more guilt about exposing family and friends to secondhand smoke
* Confidence in my ability to achieve whatever goal I set for myself!

Smoking cessation is hard work at times, especially early on, but dig your feet in and give it all you've got. Remind yourself daily about why you want to quit smoking, and picture yourself as a contented ex-smoker, free of the need to light up every hour on the hour.

Smoking cessation is not out of reach, it’s doable, and you have the ability to make it happen, right now. Believe it and believe in yourself.

Quit smoking now!

Benefits of quitting!

Benefits of quitting over time? And others! Most important benefits are at the END!

20 minutes after quitting: Your heart rate and blood pressure drops.

(Mahmud A, Feely J. Effect of Smoking on Arterial Stiffness and Pulse Pressure Amplification. Hypertension. 2003;41:183.)

12 hours after quitting: The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1988, p. 202)

2 weeks to 3 months after quitting: Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. 193, 194, 196, 285, 323)

1 to 9 months after quitting: Coughing and shortness of breath decrease; cilia (tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs) regain normal function in the lungs, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. 285-287, 304)

1 year after quitting: The excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

5 years after quitting: Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a non-smoker 5 to 15 years after quitting.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

10 years after quitting: The lung cancer death rate is about half that of a person who continues smoking. The risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, cervix, and pancreas decrease, too.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, pp. vi, 131, 148, 152, 155, 164, 166)

15 years after quitting: The risk of coronary heart disease is the same as a non-smoker's.

(U.S. Surgeon General's Report, 1990, p. vi)

Immediate rewards of quitting

Kicking the tobacco habit offers some benefits that you'll notice right away and some that will develop over time. These rewards can improve your day-to-day life a great deal:

• your breath smells better
• stained teeth get whiter
• bad smelling clothes and hair go away
• your yellow fingers and fingernails disappear
• food tastes better
• your sense of smell returns to normal
• everyday activities no longer leave you out of breath (such as climbing stairs or light housework)

Also:

Cost

Social Acceptance

Employment advantages

Residential Advantages

Friend’s happiness

Romantic advantages

Parenting benefits

Health of loved ones

#1 - CHILDREN"S HEALTH AND HAPPINESS!

FAMILY'S HAPPINESS! LIFE!  LIVING!  BEING HEALTHY!  IT MAKES YOUR FRIENDS VERY VERY VERY HAPPY TOO!

Bumps in the road

Everyone has them...bumps in the road!  Quitting smoking is tough and when life gets stressful it can be really easy to give in or forget about the efforts to quit.  It is easy to surrender yourself again to the nasty habit and not have to deal with the urges and positive efforts you are making to be healthy.

BUT hold on...do you really think being unhealthy or going backward will help?  And this temporary lapse will reduce the other stress? Does smoking help anything?  

No... ok but if you hit a bump in the road...it is OK just get back on track asap...you are still that much further along in the long process of quitting then you were before.

Keep up the good work! You know the rewards!

in one year?

if my friend smokes an average of a pack of cigs per day...she then smokes about 7300 cigarettes per year...

the lethal dose of nicotine per average adult is 60 mg...though the average cigarette only contains between 6-11 mg of nicotine it is still quite toxic.

given the bioavailability of nicotine and all the factors of how we process toxins etc., the average cigarette provides a nice dose of 1-3 mg per cigarette,...so daily that means a cumalative dose of between 20 - 60 mg can be absorbed each day..YUM

our bodies work so hard to process toxins... while nicotine can be sosoooo lethal, it is not lethal because of hard our bodies work to protect us... even at 20 cigs per day not lethal ( YET) but very toxic indeed....

think about over a year my friend absorbs between 7300- 21900 mg of nicotine per year! yuk...her poor body!

What happens when you smoke?!

One in two lifetime smokers will die from their habit. Half of these deaths will occur in middle age. One in two lifetime smokers will die from their habit. Half of these deaths will occur in middle age.
Just for starters...a little graphic but real.  One in two lifetime smokers will die from their habit of smoking cigarettes.  Half of these deaths will occur in middle age!

please read the link.  People did a lot of work putting together the information in hopes that it will help educate and prevent unnecessary deaths.
   
http://anti-smoker.tripod.com/id1.html

The process...

 This whole process began because I experienced my friend's addiction first hand.  I realized not only did i find the use of cigarettes so disgusting but that my friend was at a point where if something major didn't happen she probably would continue procrastinating and delaying the day she would quit.

So I felt and decided as a friend I should do something.  The only thing I can do is chose to let her know how I felt about her smoking, how negatively it affects me and our relationship, and that I was no longer going to be able to be around her or behave in a way that ignored this unhealthy behavior any longer.

I was willing to do all I can to help her quit, but not willing to ignore this self destruction.  I set a date which was reasonable ( 30 days)  and told her if by that time she could not commit to a date to discuss a plan then I would not be able to talk or interact with her any longer until she was ready to set a date to plan how she would carry out her smoking cessation.

Yes this is extreme, but she has always said she wanted to quit and I know it would have only gotten harder with each day so why not now!?

I was prepared to follow through with my word and I did.  It worked ...there were and are many reasons to quit but for her to know I cared that much and was willing to do a lot of work with her in order to help gave her the immediate and added incentive to put the plan in motion.  YEAH!!!!

Lets clean them up!

Planning Night!

So in the future I will tell more about how the entire idea got started but for today I want to talk a bit about the family and the planning night.

So since my friend decided she needed to commit to stop smoking we agreed on a night and that night was March 4, 2010.

I was pleased to find that her husband of 26+ years, a wonderful man was there to join us. Not only was he there to support her and involve himself in all the learning, brainstorming, motivating, understanding, etc but he decided to join in the battle of the cancer sticks!

Yes he decided that it would be advantageous and increase the likelihood of her success tremendously if he too quit smoking. What a way to demonstrate his love for her!

How wonderful.... 2 for the price of 1. I am thrilled.

He loves her so much and cares so much for her that he is willing to do this great thing for her and of course also for himself!!!!

It gets better! Not only was he there to join us but there was another person there.

They are blessed with two beautiful daughters. The younger daughter is about to turn 16 and was there also. In fact texts between she and I previously indicated that she was as devoted as a daughter could be to do whatever she can to help her mom quit moking.

Now I am certain this fantastic young woman had a zillion other things she would have rather been doing but there she sat...interested, engulfed in the information, for two plus solid hours of talk. She was pleasant, polite, and scared at times. She would smile or grin and say that is disgusting...but these facts were disturbing...reality is not so pleasant regarding this topic but there she sat taking it all in. She is smart she will lose this information not only for her own benefit but I can tell she will share it with others and save them as well....

What a family what a wonderful event and challenge for them all...how exciting and positive!
They can do this because they have one another!

Decision to quit!!!!

So my friend has made the decision to quit smoking. I have spent an enormous amount of time researching, gathering information, reading, and writing in order to put together the best plan filled with as much helpful information as I can inorder to best support her effort.

I challenge anyone who says they love someone who smokes and wants them to stop to do the same!

Yes I will only help those who make at least close to equal effort to help themselves but I assure you if anything can help motivate a person you love to quit being self destructive it is them seeing you make so much effort to help!

Friends help friends, friends don't let friends drive drunk, because there is potential harm.
Friends should help friends live safe, healthy, and happy lives in all regards!

We all have a responsibility first to ourselves, then our children and other vulnerable individuals, but then to our family and friends !

Really...what is life without them?

Robert Ebert loses voice

One common problem with smoking is that people lose their voices as a result of throat cancer. For some people this is much more of a problem than others...

worse yet Robert lost his partner to cancer in 1999.

http://entertainment.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978074281&nav=Groupspace

I skipped a few day posting...Why?

I skipped a few days for several reasons. One is I am always doing to many things to squeeze in a limited amount of time, but I wanted to be sure whoever ends up reading these blogs knows that it is not for lack of interest or loss of determination and devotion to my cause.

This friend who has motivated me to write this blog and work diligently to learn and find all possible tools to help her quit smoking has proven to me to be one of the most kind and wonderful human beings. She works hard and plays hard, she is always trying to improve herself and learn. She knows that she want s to live a full and meaningful life. There is too much good that I can say about this woman but bottom line is I want her around. I want her to succeed in this battle to quit smoking. I know she is afraid of what it will be like to not smoke. I know she is afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and the unknown side affects of medications ( if she decides to take them).

So I have skipped a few days because I lay in bed at night and thoughts pass threw my mind that say " don't screw up!" " be sure every word you say and all that you offer MUST be helpful and right" " whatever you talk about must help her become more motivated" Then I realize again as alwasy as a professional, that I can only do my best. I will be genuine, honest , forthcoming, and do my homework, I will not give up, I will not stop learning all I can, I will not allow anyone or anything to interfere with her efforts, I will be strong and she will succeed!

So I needed a few days to give that a little more thought!

With all my love I will help!

The gruesome

And there is nothing any doctor or meds can do at this point of no return..
There is nothing to say !

The lungs

your poor lungs!

I want my friend to stop smoking

it is because i care and because i love her. i have shared memorable moments with her. i want to share many more and not from a hospital room like i did with my friend franny. though franny's illness was not self inflicted the cancer was horrible to watch. i know if franny could have done anything to prevent her death she would have. i do not understand why this friend cannot find this motivation. i know she wants to be healthy and loves her family. i do not understand that she cannot find the motivation. she has wonderful people in her life that love her. yet she chooses to deny the effects and deny the risk!

i care about everyone who smokes. it is simple. it is disgusting and harmful. she says she wants to quit but has never shown any indication that she will stop smoking. it is upsetting to watch her be so controlled by cigarettes. It stinks terrible. I do not want it in my lungs. And it is becoming more known that those who still choose to smoke in this era of knowledge are less intelligent. Not to mention the uncertainty of how smoking affects your IQ or other brain functions. Smoking affects many physiological functions of the body. There is tons of info to learn more about all the effects of cigarette smoking!

in the pages to follow i hope i can provide something to make at least one person quit smoking...!
this is all i know to do!