Helpers have frustration tolerance issues too. Helpers in order to truly help should only work as hard as those who are quitting work to quit!
So though I have been meeting weekly with my friend who says she is trying to quit...i felt that I was working harder and being more conscientious then she was...evidenced by 3 + months of talking about the first goal to smoke no more than 10 cigs per day to no avail...not once could she make 7 days straight with only 7 cigs...with no good reasons, just a little sloppy, careless, lack of focus mostly on the weekends????
so...
i made the decision to withdraw my help for now and not meet again until this goal is reached!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
2 hours or more
you must be sure to smoke only when you physiologically must smoke!!!! Though this plan is to reduce to a set number of cigarettes a day..that does not mean you need to smoke that total number of cancer sticks...
if the goal is 10 but you spread them apart either by specific 2 hour intervals or by physiological need and only then smoke 8...then great!!!!
you should NOT be squeezing in an extra cig at 7 pm because you have not smoked them all ?????
who fooling who here? whats being accomplished????
if attempting to decrease intake of nicotine..the idea is to stretch the self destructive behavior as far apart as possible...
if you set specific time frames you WILL smoke less...you will feel your body experiencing withdrawal symptoms...these mildly unpleasant symptoms are a positive indication that your body is trying to help you adjust to a lower level of nicotine...work with your poor body as hard as it is working for you to be healthy!
keep increasing your time intervals and you WILL smoke less. however remember to only smoke when you physically NEED to smoke to minimize withdrawal symptoms...
your reduced levels of nicotine will decrease the withdrawal naturally and increase interval times before withdrawal symptoms occur....
great now do it!
if the goal is 10 but you spread them apart either by specific 2 hour intervals or by physiological need and only then smoke 8...then great!!!!
you should NOT be squeezing in an extra cig at 7 pm because you have not smoked them all ?????
who fooling who here? whats being accomplished????
if attempting to decrease intake of nicotine..the idea is to stretch the self destructive behavior as far apart as possible...
if you set specific time frames you WILL smoke less...you will feel your body experiencing withdrawal symptoms...these mildly unpleasant symptoms are a positive indication that your body is trying to help you adjust to a lower level of nicotine...work with your poor body as hard as it is working for you to be healthy!
keep increasing your time intervals and you WILL smoke less. however remember to only smoke when you physically NEED to smoke to minimize withdrawal symptoms...
your reduced levels of nicotine will decrease the withdrawal naturally and increase interval times before withdrawal symptoms occur....
great now do it!
Automatic pilot
Smoking and taking those so ever loved smoke breaks become habitual. Yup...30 years of 20 cigs a day will become an automatic thing ...so what to do??
well if you really want to quit smoking...breaking this habit, just like any habit, will require making changes in behavior...changing what you do first. you will also have to make changes in awareness..meaning that you must find ways to remain conscientious of your smoking cessation goals at all times throughout the day!
Some behavioral ideas could include:
Cognitive efforts could include:
The idea is to spend time figuring out what you can do to make smoking as inconvenience or as unpleasant as possible...you are trying to be more conscious how much you smoke and how often you are taking time to harm yourself. Unpleasant habits will be broken easier than pleasurable habits...
do them all ! find more ways that work for you to stop this terrible habit!
well if you really want to quit smoking...breaking this habit, just like any habit, will require making changes in behavior...changing what you do first. you will also have to make changes in awareness..meaning that you must find ways to remain conscientious of your smoking cessation goals at all times throughout the day!
Some behavioral ideas could include:
- keeping cigarettes in a different place than you usually do so that retrieving them to go for a smoke break will require more thought and effort
- only smoking in places that are unfamiliar or at least not your usual places
- not smoking when on the cell phone or in the car at all which are common problem areas of habit.
- find replacements for hand occupation, like fake cigs or chewing something...
- remove ash trays
- put up reminder signs
Cognitive efforts could include:
- positive thinking regarding this positive change you are trying to make
- reminding self hourly that you are committed to quitting and you do NOT want to smoke
- associating reminders with with regular hygiene...flossing, brushing teeth, washing hands...etc
- tell yourself you are removing the discoloring and odor of the cancerous smoke from your teeth and fingers!
- remind yourself of the negative health risks hourly or at meals
The idea is to spend time figuring out what you can do to make smoking as inconvenience or as unpleasant as possible...you are trying to be more conscious how much you smoke and how often you are taking time to harm yourself. Unpleasant habits will be broken easier than pleasurable habits...
do them all ! find more ways that work for you to stop this terrible habit!
Friday, May 28, 2010
I DON"T GET IT?
So I really don't get it sometimes. As a person trying to help another to quit smoking, I do not get the loss of motivation sometimes. I understand the cravings, the withdrawal, the effort needed, etc but I do NOT understand the sloppiness!
She is not sloppy with her hygiene..must be leaned, flossed and groomed at all times!
She is not sloppy with her hair...god forbid she go too long without a hair cut...
She is not sloppy with her clothing.
She is not sloppy in the way she cooks or cleans...all things in order...
She is not sloppy in her parenting...years of time money and energy to become the best...
She is not sloppy in how she keeps house.
She is not sloppy with her relationships with others.
She is not sloppy with keeping her car clean..in fact she is really concerned about that most of the time and yet her lungs ...no problem ...goals to quit smoking....ahhh to hell with it ...no real good reason just sometimes is sloppy and careless about it...just go ahead and smoke ..forget about the filth in the lungs or all the efforts around to help...so what.....just keep smoking when you feel like it!
Though she has said..i dont feel challenges enough??? what?
also that she just wants to stop and never smoke again..oh that would be easy???
But to make the effort consistently??? too much trouble???
Sorry..helpers and people who love smokers get frustrated too!
She is not sloppy with her hygiene..must be leaned, flossed and groomed at all times!
She is not sloppy with her hair...god forbid she go too long without a hair cut...
She is not sloppy with her clothing.
She is not sloppy in the way she cooks or cleans...all things in order...
She is not sloppy in her parenting...years of time money and energy to become the best...
She is not sloppy in how she keeps house.
She is not sloppy with her relationships with others.
She is not sloppy with keeping her car clean..in fact she is really concerned about that most of the time and yet her lungs ...no problem ...goals to quit smoking....ahhh to hell with it ...no real good reason just sometimes is sloppy and careless about it...just go ahead and smoke ..forget about the filth in the lungs or all the efforts around to help...so what.....just keep smoking when you feel like it!
Though she has said..i dont feel challenges enough??? what?
also that she just wants to stop and never smoke again..oh that would be easy???
But to make the effort consistently??? too much trouble???
Sorry..helpers and people who love smokers get frustrated too!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Breaking behavioral habits
breaking old behavioral habits can be very hard...especially when you have done them for 30 + years or so. if you need tools then you must brainstorm and figure out what might help. first figure out your road blocks...then consider options that might help.
my friend realized that weekends and having drinks (alcohol) are the direct cause of a more relaxed attitude and therefore a little slacking on her efforts...also the automatic pilot kicks in. Meaning that on her deck relaxed after a long hard week around smoking friends and husband ...she tends to lose focus and treats herself with as much nicotine as she carelessly and unconsciously wants.????
So instead of cigs we decided to try having a fake cig...and cigars for now in her cig pack by friday at happy hour..so that it will be a reminder and an alternative to those death sticks available...
Also we decided to get something to hold in her hand like a stress stone to rub and keep her hands busy...
Also being at least a bit more conscientious about how much intake of alcohol will helpful...duh( for many reasons)
Psychological preparedness is critical as always...the psychological aspect will include specific self talk...
"I might be tipsy but i am NOT dumb!",
"I do not have to smoke when others do becuse I am choosing health and I can quit smoking",
"I will not lose sight of my goals",
"I can enjoy a drink but NOT a cig..eewww they are the enemy and disgusting" etc etc...finding what wording works is important!
do it!
my friend realized that weekends and having drinks (alcohol) are the direct cause of a more relaxed attitude and therefore a little slacking on her efforts...also the automatic pilot kicks in. Meaning that on her deck relaxed after a long hard week around smoking friends and husband ...she tends to lose focus and treats herself with as much nicotine as she carelessly and unconsciously wants.????
So instead of cigs we decided to try having a fake cig...and cigars for now in her cig pack by friday at happy hour..so that it will be a reminder and an alternative to those death sticks available...
Also we decided to get something to hold in her hand like a stress stone to rub and keep her hands busy...
Also being at least a bit more conscientious about how much intake of alcohol will helpful...duh( for many reasons)
Psychological preparedness is critical as always...the psychological aspect will include specific self talk...
"I might be tipsy but i am NOT dumb!",
"I do not have to smoke when others do becuse I am choosing health and I can quit smoking",
"I will not lose sight of my goals",
"I can enjoy a drink but NOT a cig..eewww they are the enemy and disgusting" etc etc...finding what wording works is important!
do it!
Negativity ..or opportunity?
When you get negative PLEASE remember what you have already accomplished!
Remember your positive self talk and all the other things in life you have learned to do or accomplished.
Remember the big picture and the long term goals. If you have smoked for 30 years or however long, please give yourself a break and recognize you might need a little time to accomplish this goal to break your habits and over come this addiction.
PATIENCE please... this is an opportunity to develop patience as a virtue yourself.
Remember your positive self talk and all the other things in life you have learned to do or accomplished.
Remember the big picture and the long term goals. If you have smoked for 30 years or however long, please give yourself a break and recognize you might need a little time to accomplish this goal to break your habits and over come this addiction.
PATIENCE please... this is an opportunity to develop patience as a virtue yourself.
Monday, May 17, 2010
What is not working
Having bad days??? you need to figure out why? Is it who you are with, where you are, or your thoughts or lack of commitment?
Feeling like you go backward at times??? it's ok. This is to be expected. However, the idea is to give serious thought to why you have days when you do not count out your cigs, lose count throughout the day, smoke more when at work, smoke more when in your car, smoke more when you are around others who smoke, or seem to automatically (without the thought of your commitment to quit) go out to take a smoke break?
Is there some other problem you seem to be having? Are you not staying focused each and every day ..all day? if not then we need to figure out how to keep you focused!
Bottom line...a slight set back is OK from time to time, but if you are having a pattern of screwups with your goals then you need to take a closer look at the problem.
Committed? really? what are you thinking when you make the decision to light up?
We need to figure out what you need to think in order to STOP the problematic behavior of screwing up your goal to quit and for now reduce the intake of nicotine!
THINK about it.
Feeling like you go backward at times??? it's ok. This is to be expected. However, the idea is to give serious thought to why you have days when you do not count out your cigs, lose count throughout the day, smoke more when at work, smoke more when in your car, smoke more when you are around others who smoke, or seem to automatically (without the thought of your commitment to quit) go out to take a smoke break?
Is there some other problem you seem to be having? Are you not staying focused each and every day ..all day? if not then we need to figure out how to keep you focused!
Bottom line...a slight set back is OK from time to time, but if you are having a pattern of screwups with your goals then you need to take a closer look at the problem.
Committed? really? what are you thinking when you make the decision to light up?
We need to figure out what you need to think in order to STOP the problematic behavior of screwing up your goal to quit and for now reduce the intake of nicotine!
THINK about it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
