This whole process began because I experienced my friend's addiction first hand. I realized not only did i find the use of cigarettes so disgusting but that my friend was at a point where if something major didn't happen she probably would continue procrastinating and delaying the day she would quit.
So I felt and decided as a friend I should do something. The only thing I can do is chose to let her know how I felt about her smoking, how negatively it affects me and our relationship, and that I was no longer going to be able to be around her or behave in a way that ignored this unhealthy behavior any longer.
I was willing to do all I can to help her quit, but not willing to ignore this self destruction. I set a date which was reasonable ( 30 days) and told her if by that time she could not commit to a date to discuss a plan then I would not be able to talk or interact with her any longer until she was ready to set a date to plan how she would carry out her smoking cessation.
Yes this is extreme, but she has always said she wanted to quit and I know it would have only gotten harder with each day so why not now!?
I was prepared to follow through with my word and I did. It worked ...there were and are many reasons to quit but for her to know I cared that much and was willing to do a lot of work with her in order to help gave her the immediate and added incentive to put the plan in motion. YEAH!!!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Planning Night!
So in the future I will tell more about how the entire idea got started but for today I want to talk a bit about the family and the planning night.
So since my friend decided she needed to commit to stop smoking we agreed on a night and that night was March 4, 2010.
I was pleased to find that her husband of 26+ years, a wonderful man was there to join us. Not only was he there to support her and involve himself in all the learning, brainstorming, motivating, understanding, etc but he decided to join in the battle of the cancer sticks!
Yes he decided that it would be advantageous and increase the likelihood of her success tremendously if he too quit smoking. What a way to demonstrate his love for her!
How wonderful.... 2 for the price of 1. I am thrilled.
He loves her so much and cares so much for her that he is willing to do this great thing for her and of course also for himself!!!!
It gets better! Not only was he there to join us but there was another person there.
They are blessed with two beautiful daughters. The younger daughter is about to turn 16 and was there also. In fact texts between she and I previously indicated that she was as devoted as a daughter could be to do whatever she can to help her mom quit moking.
Now I am certain this fantastic young woman had a zillion other things she would have rather been doing but there she sat...interested, engulfed in the information, for two plus solid hours of talk. She was pleasant, polite, and scared at times. She would smile or grin and say that is disgusting...but these facts were disturbing...reality is not so pleasant regarding this topic but there she sat taking it all in. She is smart she will lose this information not only for her own benefit but I can tell she will share it with others and save them as well....
What a family what a wonderful event and challenge for them all...how exciting and positive!
They can do this because they have one another!
So since my friend decided she needed to commit to stop smoking we agreed on a night and that night was March 4, 2010.
I was pleased to find that her husband of 26+ years, a wonderful man was there to join us. Not only was he there to support her and involve himself in all the learning, brainstorming, motivating, understanding, etc but he decided to join in the battle of the cancer sticks!
Yes he decided that it would be advantageous and increase the likelihood of her success tremendously if he too quit smoking. What a way to demonstrate his love for her!
How wonderful.... 2 for the price of 1. I am thrilled.
He loves her so much and cares so much for her that he is willing to do this great thing for her and of course also for himself!!!!
It gets better! Not only was he there to join us but there was another person there.
They are blessed with two beautiful daughters. The younger daughter is about to turn 16 and was there also. In fact texts between she and I previously indicated that she was as devoted as a daughter could be to do whatever she can to help her mom quit moking.
Now I am certain this fantastic young woman had a zillion other things she would have rather been doing but there she sat...interested, engulfed in the information, for two plus solid hours of talk. She was pleasant, polite, and scared at times. She would smile or grin and say that is disgusting...but these facts were disturbing...reality is not so pleasant regarding this topic but there she sat taking it all in. She is smart she will lose this information not only for her own benefit but I can tell she will share it with others and save them as well....
What a family what a wonderful event and challenge for them all...how exciting and positive!
They can do this because they have one another!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Decision to quit!!!!
So my friend has made the decision to quit smoking. I have spent an enormous amount of time researching, gathering information, reading, and writing in order to put together the best plan filled with as much helpful information as I can inorder to best support her effort.
I challenge anyone who says they love someone who smokes and wants them to stop to do the same!
Yes I will only help those who make at least close to equal effort to help themselves but I assure you if anything can help motivate a person you love to quit being self destructive it is them seeing you make so much effort to help!
Friends help friends, friends don't let friends drive drunk, because there is potential harm.
Friends should help friends live safe, healthy, and happy lives in all regards!
We all have a responsibility first to ourselves, then our children and other vulnerable individuals, but then to our family and friends !
Really...what is life without them?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Robert Ebert loses voice
One common problem with smoking is that people lose their voices as a result of throat cancer. For some people this is much more of a problem than others...
worse yet Robert lost his partner to cancer in 1999.
http://entertainment.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978074281&nav=Groupspace
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I skipped a few day posting...Why?
I skipped a few days for several reasons. One is I am always doing to many things to squeeze in a limited amount of time, but I wanted to be sure whoever ends up reading these blogs knows that it is not for lack of interest or loss of determination and devotion to my cause.
This friend who has motivated me to write this blog and work diligently to learn and find all possible tools to help her quit smoking has proven to me to be one of the most kind and wonderful human beings. She works hard and plays hard, she is always trying to improve herself and learn. She knows that she want s to live a full and meaningful life. There is too much good that I can say about this woman but bottom line is I want her around. I want her to succeed in this battle to quit smoking. I know she is afraid of what it will be like to not smoke. I know she is afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and the unknown side affects of medications ( if she decides to take them).
So I have skipped a few days because I lay in bed at night and thoughts pass threw my mind that say " don't screw up!" " be sure every word you say and all that you offer MUST be helpful and right" " whatever you talk about must help her become more motivated" Then I realize again as alwasy as a professional, that I can only do my best. I will be genuine, honest , forthcoming, and do my homework, I will not give up, I will not stop learning all I can, I will not allow anyone or anything to interfere with her efforts, I will be strong and she will succeed!
So I needed a few days to give that a little more thought!
With all my love I will help!
This friend who has motivated me to write this blog and work diligently to learn and find all possible tools to help her quit smoking has proven to me to be one of the most kind and wonderful human beings. She works hard and plays hard, she is always trying to improve herself and learn. She knows that she want s to live a full and meaningful life. There is too much good that I can say about this woman but bottom line is I want her around. I want her to succeed in this battle to quit smoking. I know she is afraid of what it will be like to not smoke. I know she is afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and the unknown side affects of medications ( if she decides to take them).
So I have skipped a few days because I lay in bed at night and thoughts pass threw my mind that say " don't screw up!" " be sure every word you say and all that you offer MUST be helpful and right" " whatever you talk about must help her become more motivated" Then I realize again as alwasy as a professional, that I can only do my best. I will be genuine, honest , forthcoming, and do my homework, I will not give up, I will not stop learning all I can, I will not allow anyone or anything to interfere with her efforts, I will be strong and she will succeed!
So I needed a few days to give that a little more thought!
With all my love I will help!
The gruesome
And there is nothing any doctor or meds can do at this point of no return..
There is nothing to say !
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